Valiant: Tales From The Drift

[Tails #23: The Most Dangerous Prey]

Log Date: 9/18/12764

Data Sources: Jazel Jaskolka, Lysanne Arrignis

Event Log: Jazel Jaskolka

Kjurrtik: Maple Park Reserve

11:28am SGT

“So kid, now that we’ve got a bit of a moment to take a breather here, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Milor says as he ejects the spent plasma cell from his shotgun and loads another one in. “I noticed you’ve been, as the Halfie kids like to say, ‘huffin’ fluff’ lately, and I just wanted to make sure that you and McFoxtails have been using protection.”

“SERIOUSLY, Milor?!” I snap back at him as I beat off a snarling, fanged cannibal bunny with a shovel, then dodge to the side to avoid another one leaping at my face. “Are you really bringing this up right now?”

“Well, seemed like a good time, since we’re pretty engaged here and that means that you can’t slink off all embarrassed, pretending you’ve got sommat else to do.” Milor says, pumping his shotgun and blasting the cannibunny that went over my shoulder.

“I am not going to discuss my sex life with you in front of everybody else while we are in the middle of fighting off a swarm of hyperaggressive, bloodthirsty rabbits!” I retort indignantly, kicking at one of the cannibunnies that’s lunging for my shin. “How do you even know? Have you been spying on us?”

“Jazel, she’s been showing up in the morning wearing your shirts like they’re going out of style.” Lysanne calls from a little further back in the warren, where she’s loading a warhead into her rocket launcher while Dandy guards her from cannibunnies with a stun rifle. “It’s not a secret. Everyone on the ship can tell.”

“It can’t be that obvious.” I grunt, whacking a cannibunny with a loud pang that sends the fluffy little menace back towards the holes in the side of the cavern where they’re coming from. “Is it really that obvious?”

“Yes.” Lysanne, Milor, and Dandy all reply at once.

“Okay, well—” I mutter, shaking my grimoire active, only to have to stop again and bat away another fanged lagomorph with my shovel. “—even if it’s obvious, it’s not like that gives you the right to… like… I dunno, bring up my sex life!”

“Look kid, we’re not doing it to embarrass you.” Milor says, slagging another group of cannibunnies with his shotgun. “We’re just, y’know… encouraging you to be responsible.”

“I don’t usually agree with Milor, but he’s right.” Lysanne adds, locking the warhead into her rocket launcher and hefting it onto her shoulder. “The last thing we need is you gettin’ the fox pregnant. And since you’re new to all this…”

“Whu— new?! What does that have to do with anything?!”

“Look kid, some people don’t get some until later in life. And that’s okay.” Milor says, pumping his shotgun and decimating another group of cannibunnies. “But whether you’re sixteen or sixty, sex ed is an important part of making informed decisions, and we’re just saying… we’re here for you, in case you need access to resources, or advice or guidance, or tips or tricks—”

“I know what contraceptives are, Milor, I wasn’t raised under a rock!” I snap, then grit my teeth and bite back a shout when I feel a painful stabbing sensation at my shin. Reaching down, I grab the cannibunny that’s bitten clean through my jeans, lift it by the neck, and start bashing the little menace against the cavern wall. “Sonuvabitch! Who thought it was a good idea to genetically engineer a sabertooth rabbit?!”

“The local genetics lab claims it was a mistake. However, given the military research center close to here, I find it likely that the civilian genetics lab is being used as plausible deniability for a military project that has moved in an unexpected direction.” Dandy says, nailing another two cannibunnies with stun pulses. “On an unrelated note, contraceptives of most varieties are covered under CURSE’s health insurance plan, Jazel. If you wish to be refunded the cost of purchasing them, simply provide me with a receipt and I can file a claim with the health plan with a request for reimbursement.”

I can feel my face heat up at that. “I appreciate that, Dandy, but I am not going to give you a receipt for my contraceptive pills!” I decline as politely as I can, chucking the rabbit I’d smashed back towards the other end of the cavern. “Besides, Kaya’s a morphox, I’m an Aurescuran. I don’t even know if we’d be capable of producing offspring.”

“Oof, that’s clinical.” Milor puffs, checking his jacket for spare plasma cells. “Offspring. You can tell he’s a scientist.”

“No, you two are definitely compatible.” Dandy says. “I did the research. Human and morphox pairs are capable of producing offspring. Per the usual with mixed-species matchups, the mother contributes the genes determining race or species, while the father contributes the genes determining the sex.”

Lysanne lowers the rocket launcher as realization washes over her. “Aurescura above, does that mean…”

“Yes. Jazel would be siring more morphoxes in that scenario.” Dandy answers, gunning down another trio of cannibunnies.

I feel something inside me curdle and cringe at that. “Siring? Unff, did you really have to phrase it like that?”

“Apologies. I was under the impression that scientific terminology would make the subject less embarrassing to discuss.”

“Gotta admit, the idea of a bunch of little Jazel-phoxes running around is kinda cute.” Milor says, still checking his jacket for plasma cells.

“No! No, absolutely not!” Lysanne hisses. “He is not ready to be a father, and one morphox is more than enough; we do not need more! I don’t care if I have to pay for your pills myself; you are not getting Kaya pregnant!”

“Well I don’t want to get her pregnant either!” I protest indignantly, swinging my shovel wide. “You guys are the ones that are talking about it, not me! We’ve been responsible! I mean, well, I’ve been being responsible! I’ve told you, I know what contraceptives are; I’m not some clueless teenager that can’t navigate a pharmacy!”

“Uh, guys, I just realized I’m out of reloads for my shotgun.” Milor says, patting at his jacket as if he’d find a charged cell hidden in a pocket somewhere. “We should probably see about wrapping up this warren sooAH SHIT—”

Milor staggers backwards as a cannibunny leaps off the ground at him, latching onto his neck while snarling and growling. Milor drops his shotgun, grabbing the rabbit with both hands and wrestling it loose, snapping its neck before throwing it down and clamping a hand to his throat, which is bleeding profusely. “Shit! Hell! That thing almost ripped my throat out! Jesu christi, it went straight for my jugular!”

“Ms. Arrignis, we need to collapse that warren now.” Dandy orders, lowering her rifle and moving over to Milor as she starts opening her backpack to pull out a medkit. “Hold still, Deputy. You may have a breached artery. Jazel, please cover us while I tend to the Deputy.”

I move in front of them, golfing another cannibunny to the back of the cavern as I do so, and trying to kick away others that are hopping over the piled corpses of their brethren. “Lysanne, if you could fire that rocket sometime today! There’s only so many rabbits I can kill with a shovel!”

“Well I would’ve fired it earlier if y’all hadn’t distracted me with all that sex talk!” Lysanne says, hoisting the rocket launcher on her shoulder.

“Don’t look at me; that was Milor! I am quite happy to keep my sex life to myself!”

Lysanne doesn’t answer, or if she does, her reply is lost under the roar of the backblast as the rocket hisses out of the launcher. It races to the far end of the cavern, where the cannibunny warrens have been dug out, and explodes upon hitting the wall. The blast is deafening in an enclosed space like this, and you can feel the pressure wave rip through the cavern. It’s strong enough to knock me back, and send some of the surviving cannibunnies flying. Steadying myself on the shovel, and trying to hear past the ringing in my ears, I cough out some dust, and see that at the far end of the cavern, the ceiling and the walls are starting to collapse through the lingering smoke.

“Oh man, it’s starting to cave, we gotta get out of here, guys!” I shout, scrambling around to start tugging Milor and Dandy up. “Go, go, get back to the tunnel or we’re gonna get buried!”

“Well tarnation, kid, can’t a man catch a break?” Milor splutters, staggering to his feet and holding a bandage to his neck. “I just had a bunny try to rip my throat out, now y’all tryin’a’ bury us alive!”

“A necessary risk. The Kjurrtik planetguard disagreed with our professional assessment that the infestation would be best handled by dropping a bunker buster on the warrens, requiring us to take a hands-on approach to resolving the issue.” Dandy says, quickly packing up her medkit and hurrying after us as we scramble back to the tunnel that we used to reach this warren. “We will bill them the expense of the rocket and your shotgun plasma cells once we are done. For now, an expeditious exit is in order.”

Lysanne grabs her lantern and bolts, leading in the way as we rush back into the tunnel, jumping over dazed cannibunnies as we go. There’s a soft rumbling and thudding as the cavern collapses behind us, tons of earth and snapped roots filling in the space, and then replaced by the sound of silence as we spill back out into the main cavern. Spreading out, we all take a moment to catch our breath, Lysanne crouching down and resting her arms on her knees, while I lean against the wall, and Milor drops his shotgun, flopping on the ground as Dandy starts tending to his neck wound again.

“Alright. Awesome.” he wheezes from the ground. “We just massacred an infestation of killer bunnies. Let’s not do that again anytime soon.”

“You think Kaya’s dealt with the other warren yet?” Lysanne says, looking around to the other tunnel leading off from this cavern.

“I haven’t heard anything from her.” I say, pushing off the wall and starting towards that tunnel. “And I don’t hear anything coming from the tunnel. Kaya! Are you in there?”

There’s no response, but I hear pebbles and dirt rustling down the other side of the cavern wall. Turning around, I see Kayenta sliding down the tunnel that leads back up to the surface, a dead cannibunny clamped in her mouth. Once she lands on the ground, she skips across the cavern, spitting the dead lagomorph into her hands and holding it out to me. “I killed them all!” she says proudly, offering a bloody smile.

“Oh… uhm. Thank you.” I say, gingerly taking the dead cannibunny, then noticing that the pockets of her cargo shorts and her hoodie are bulging. “What do you have in your pockets…?”

“I saved some! One for each of you, so we can eat them later!” she declares, starting to pull dead cannibunnies out of her pockets. “Rabbits are good meat. I used to eat them before I started eating souls.”

“Oh. That’s very, uhm, thoughtful of you.” I say, looking at the others. Lysanne shakes her head, Dandy doesn’t react, and Milor gives a shrug after a moment.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” he says. “Rabbits are good eatin’ and these ones look like they’ve got some good meat on them, probably because they’ve been depopulating this region of the woods. If we take them back to the ship, I can skin ‘em and carve ‘em up. Probably not enough to make a main course on their own, but throw the meat in a stew with some taters n’ carrots and put it on simmer in a slow cooker for a few hours, and you’ve got a pretty good dinner.”

“Far be it from me to discourage your unusual offer to prepare dinner, but I must question of the wisdom of consuming the product of an escaped genetic experiment.” Dandy cautions as she finishes taping up Milor’s neck. “There could be unforeseen elements that may adversely affect consumption. These specimens were clearly not engineered with market consumption in mind — their design is, at best, pest control, and at worst, intended for combat deployment.”

Milor scoffs at that. “Combat deployment? Please. You expect me to believe that the military intended to field these? As what, target practice?”

“I’unno, one of them almost tore your throat out.” Lysanne points out drily.

“It got lucky.” Milor says, waving off Lysanne’s assertion as he pushes back to his feet and picks up his shotgun. Coming over, he grabs the dead cannibunny out of my hands, looking it over and weighing it in his hand. “Woo. That’s a hefty coney. There might be more meat on these things than I was expecting. How many more of those you got, Fluffy McFoxtails?”

Kayenta looks through her pockets. “One, two… three, four. Five, including the one you have. I tried to fit more in the butt pockets, but they weren’t big enough for that.”

“Five should be plenty for a good stew.” he says, handing the cannibunny back to me and leaning his shotgun on his shoulder as he ruffles Kayenta’s hair. “Good job, Fluffy. We’ll have a good dinner tonight or tomorrow.” Turning back around, he heads for the tunnel leading back up to the surface. “We can ask the GeneTechs eggheads if there’s anything dangerous about their killer bunnies, aside from those fangs, and if they give us a shrug, I say we call it good and plan on having them for dinner.”

I start to follow the others to the entry tunnel, looking over the cannibunny that Milor handed back to me. “Y’know, these look kinda like snake fangs. If they wanted to make a bioengineered weapon, they probably could’ve given them glands capable of venom production, and hollow fangs.”

“I swear to god, Jazel, if you put that idea in their heads, I will tape your mouth shut.”

“Just sayin’…”

“The galaxy already has enough problems. It does not need a plague of hyperaggressive sabertooth bunnies with venomous fangs that breed like… well, rabbits.”

“Maybe we could keep one in cold storage to study it later?”

“NO.”

Encyclopedia Galactica

Planetguard

A core feature of any heavily populated world, a planetguard is a governmental department or organization responsible for the safety and defense of a given world from external threats. A planetguard is distinct from the planetary police in that the planetary police are responsible for enforcing the law, while the planetguard are a military institution and, at least in theory, do not get involved in civil issues.

In practice, the extent of a planetguard’s responsibilities and purview vary from world to world. In authoritarian systems, the planetary police operate as an extension of the planetguard, and the two are interchangeable; in more democratic systems, the planetguard are restricted solely to the military sphere, and defense of the planet against external threats. In some systems, the planetguard is used to fill gaps in services that are not fully developed, such as environmental monitoring or disaster response.

A planetguard is generally considered a planet’s unified ‘military’, and depending on the political situation for a given planet, may be composed of military units from different factions or regional states. In total, a planetguard consists of ground forces, naval forces, atmospheric forces, and space forces. Of these, the space forces, typically being composed of interstellar warships and support ships, can be pulled by the system’s government to serve in a system defense fleet, or as part of a warfleet, as required by the nation that owns and governs the system. Naval, atmospheric, and ground forces that make up a planetguard’s assets typically are not pulled for offworld duty unless there is a dire and pressing need. To that end, the naval, atmospheric, and ground branches of a planetguard typically only operate in a defensive capacity, once an invasion has progressed past the orbital stage and reached the surface.

Event Log: Lysanne Arrignis

Dandelion Drift: Kitchen

9/19/12764 4:37pm SGT

“Color me surprised.” I remark as the kitchen door spirals shut behind me. “Here I was thinking you’d burn the kitchen down trying to make cereal.”

Milor looks over his shoulder. “C’mon now blondie, have a little faith. I haven’t always survived on a diet of whiskey and fast food.” He goes back to checking the slow cooker on the counter, putting the lid back on after a moment. “It’s pretty much finished, I’ve turned it down to simmer until we’re ready for dinner. Y’sure you don’t want any?”

“I’m good, thank you.” I say, heading over to the oven and surprised to see it on. “Wait, you’re baking something as well?”

“Yup. Biscuits to go with the stew.” he says, pushing open one of the cabinets so he can start pulling out bowls. “We’ll give everyone a proper frontier dinner. Y’know — if you don’t mind me askin’ — what’s the big deal with you and the vegan thing? If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s okay; I know a lot of Preservers are vegan, I just figured I’d ask to see if there was anything more to it.”

I shrug, clicking open the drawer for the cutlery and starting to pull spoons and knives out. “It’s an ethics thing. Most Preservers believe in moral treatment of life, whether it’s sapient or not, and a lot of us don’t regard keeping, breeding, and raising animals for the purpose of slaughter and consumption as ethical.”

Milor seems to mull that over as he sets out the bowls. “Being raised to die. Yeah, I can sorta understand that. So you’re just opposed to keeping animals in cages so we can feed them and eat them?”

“Well, yeah. I am opposed to industrial farming.” I say, laying out the spoons beside each bowl. “Confining creatures to cages for their entire lives just so they can die at the end isn’t ethical treatment.”

“Okay. Fair enough.” he says, going back to the oven to check on how his biscuits are rising. “So… what about small farms, then? Just sayin’, as someone that came from a small farming community. The farmers love their animals, but y’know, we rely on them for a lot of product and food, especially if it’s cheaper than gettin’ the stuff at the store. It’s a way of life for us. And the animals can often roam around, within the boundaries of the farm.”

“That’s… okay, well… that’s kind of complicated.” I grimace as I pull out the napkins and start folding them. “I should preface all this by saying there are shades to being a vegetarian, you know? Like, people do it for different reasons. For some people it’s a diet, for some people it’s ethical reasons, and depending on your reasons, you’ll do different types of vegetarianism. I do it because I think industrial farming is unethical, so I don’t eat products of industrial farming.”

“Okay.” Milor nods. It seems like he’s mentally chewing on that while he moves to the fridge and starts pulling out the jams. “So… and this purely hypothetical, but let’s take eggs, for example. You wouldn’t eat eggs if they came from a major industrial supplier, but you’d eat eggs from a small farm where you know the chickens can run around instead of being kept in cages?”

I slow down in my napkin-folding, working through that. “Well… it’s not killing the chickens, and the chickens can run around, so… yeah, I think I could do that. Assuming they’re coming from a small provider with free-range livestock, yeah. I think I’d be okay with that.”

“Alright.” Milor says, setting the jams on the table. “So, what about, say, need-based killing? Like the villagers outside the Helios settlement back on Vissengard, they’re not exactly rockin’ that space-age technology. They do a lot of hunting and stuff, alongside some basic farming, to make sure the villages stay fed. How does that fit into the big picture?”

“I mean, they’re not modernized, so it’s not like they can help it?” I say, laying out the napkins at each table setting. “If they need it to survive, then yeah, I think that’s fine. I understand a vegetarian diet is a modern luxury; it’s something that’s a lot easier to do when you have more nutritional options available to you. I’m not some vegan extremist.”

“Okay. Okay.” Milor says, going back to the cabinet and pulling out glasses to start setting them on the table. “So, I guess my next question is, what about meat sourced from population control?”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Population control?”

“Yeah. Back on my homeworld, we call it hunting season — you’re allowed to bag certain animals in certain quantities once hunting season opens, and it’s a way of keeping certain animal populations in check.” he explains.

I give him a flat look. “Populations that are only growing out of control because reckless development and settlement have driven out or decimated the native predator species. I’m not stupid, Milor.”

“Look, nobody’s perfect. You do the best you can when you’re managing a growing community.” he says, going back to the stove to check the biscuits. “If you don’t let people bag a couple deer from year to year, they’re gonna decimate the crops. And if you have to kill them, you may as well put the corpse to use, right? Otherwise it’s just a waste, and that’s not a responsible way to manage a population.”

I blow out a sigh. “Yeah, I guess. Even if the problem is technically created by people in the first place. If you have to kill a prey species to keep the population under control, then you may well put the body to good use instead of just leaving it to rot.”

“Great. I’m glad we agree on that.” Milor says, opening the oven and putting on a mitt so he can pull out the tray of biscuits. “So that leads me to my next question: those rabbits we killed yesterday were killed out of necessity—”

“Oh, I can’t believe you!” I protest, hitching my hands on my hips. “This whole conversation was just you trying to work your way around to getting me to eat your rabbit stew, was it now? You’re unbelievable, Milor!”

Milor grins as he sets the tray on a cooling rack. “I mean, we killed the rabbits out of ecological need, not out of desire, right? So it should be ethically acceptable to put the byproduct to good use instead of wasting it.”

“Unbelievable.” I repeat, turning away. “Skeezy, no-good, meat-lovin’—”

“Hey now, don’t be a hater.” Milor says, using a spatula to start teasing his biscuits off the tray. “I went through all this trouble to figure out why you’re vegan, and now that I know it’s an ethics thing, I know how to find stuff I can cook up for you without you feelin’ guilty about eating it. We got some meat here that came from murderbunnies that we had to kill for the greater good, an’ it’d be a shame to let it go to waste. So just give it a try, yeah? And if it’s not your thing, that’s okay, I ain’t gonna give you grief if you don’t like the taste of my cookin’.” He looks at me at this point. “Unless you’re holdin’ out on me and it really is more than just an ethics thing.”

I purse my lips. I don’t want to admit it, but he’s got a point. I can’t really argue with how we came by this meat; nothing about the procurement was immoral or unethical. The rabbits we killed for it were a threat to the ecosystem; they needed to be removed. “Fine. I’ll give it a try. But if I don’t like it, I don’t swallow.”

“Fair enough, blondie, I can live with that.” Milor says, folding a towel over the bowl of biscuits and carrying it over the table. “What time is it? Looks like we’re close to five, and the biscuits are hot out of the oven. You think everyone else will be down for an early dinner?”

“Maybe. You want me to tell Dandy to ring the dinner bell?” I ask, moving towards the console by the door.

“Yeah, please.” Milor says, moving back over to the counter and searching through the drawers. “Do we have any hotpads in here? I don’t cook often, so I have no idea where anything is.”

“Should be next to the cutlery drawer.” I say, before turning back to the intercom. “Dandy—”

“I’ve already informed the rest of the crew that dinner will be in fifteen minutes.” Dandy’s voice comes from the intercom. “I will be down there shortly as well.”

“Ah, so she was listening all along.” Milor says, tossing a hotpad on the table before picking up the slow cooker and moving it over to the table. “I had a feeling.”

“I did not want to interrupt the conversation you were having.” Dandy replies through the intercom.

“That’s nice enough, but how about letting us know you’re part of it in the first place, eh?” Milor says, lifting the lid on the slow cooker, setting it on the table as he starts ladling out portions into each of the bowls on the table. “We call it eavesdropping when organics listen into conversations without other people knowing.”

“Understood. I will advertise my presence next time.”

I lean over, peering at the lumps of meat in one of the bowls. “…vegetarianism aside, I’ve still got my doubts. I mean, these were genetically engineered cannibal bunnies. Are we really sure this stuff is safe to eat?”

“The GeneTechs guys told us it was safe to eat. Aside from, y’know, all the risks that come with eating wild animals, but that’s not a problem so long as you clean, prepare, and cook them properly.” Milor says as he finishes ladling out the last bowl. “And I might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I know how to skin and cook a coney. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? Everyone knows that eating genetically engineered plants and animals won’t change your genes. Over ninety percent of the food that people eat is genetically engineered nowadays.”

“Ninety-four point three six percent, according to the last official report from the Galactic Health Organization.”

“Thank you, strawberry soda.” Milor says, rolling his eyes as he puts the lid back on the crockpot. “I’m not sure how my argument would’ve survived without such technical tenacity.”

“Well, these were a military project.” I say, taking a spoon and using it to poke around at the contents of one of the bowls. I have to admit, it does smell good. “Maybe they’re not telling us everything they did to them.”

“Look, the COS military is many things, but calling them competent is a little too generous.” Milor says, pulling out a chair so he can sit down.

“Better be careful, Deputy; them’s fightin’ words, especially after what happened to Mokasha.” Ozzy shuffles into the kitchen in his fluffy slippers, wearing sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt with a triangular logo that reads Fringe Foundation: Pursue — Protect — Preserve. “If they catch you razzin’ the Confederacy military, they’ll have you tried and hanged for treason.”

“It’s their own damn fault they lost Mokasha.” Milor snorts, leaning back in his chair. “Burnin’ money on partisan boondoggles instead of fortifying their systems. Truth hurts, but it’s gotta be said.”

“Yeah, well let’s not get too deep into politics right before dinner, yeah?” I say, sitting down as Dandy arrives in the kitchen. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Perhaps the upcoming visit to New Aurescura?” Dandy recommends as she sits down beside me.

“Oh, is that coming up?” Ozzy asks, brushing some of his wispy white and grey hair out of his eyes. “I thought we still had to go to Pallus and grab some vampire fairy specimens for the Preserver Academy.”

“We do, but that’s not priority.” I explain. “We received confirmation that it can wait until after our vacation to New Aurescura.”

“What’s gonna wait until after our vacation?” Jazel asks as he steps into the kitchen, with Kayenta trotting along behind him. A few stray leaves are clinging to their clothes, so it seems like they were in the biosphere prior to this.

“The assignment on Pallus.” I repeat. “It’s not priority, so we can head straight to New Aurescura once we file the last of our paperwork here.”

“Oh really?” Jazel says as he and Kayenta sit down. “Dang. I’ll send Mom a text and let her know tonight so she can start planning. How many days is it from here to New Aurescura?”

“Roughly two weeks, accounting for tunnelspace fluctuations.” Dandy answers. “Could be shorter, could be longer, but not more than thirty-six hours to either side. We’ve already secured permissions from the system authority, so we can depart any time within the next forty-three hours. I have also sent notice of our arrival window to the system authority in the Auros System.”

“Perfect then, we’re all set to go!” Milor says, picking up his spoon. “I think we’ve all earned a vacation after that last assignment. I know have, after almost getting killed by cannibunnies. And speaking of which…” He gestures his arms wide to the spread before us. “Our victory dinner, lads and lassies. Rabbit stew and frontier biscuits, made from the corpses of our fluffy fanged enemies. Dig in, but take it slow on the stew; it’s still hot.”

“Huh.” Jazel says, stirring his bowl as if to get a better idea of what’s in the stew. “First time you’ve ever cooked for us, Milor.”

“Yes, yes, I know, laugh it up.” Milor says, starting to lather one of his biscuits in jam. “Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cook. If you’re concerned about the contents of the stew, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s got all the classics: diced potatoes, baby carrots, chopped celery, peas, rabbit meat, bay leaves and a few other seasonings, although— Fluffy, spit that out, you’re not suppose to eat the bay leaves—”

Kayenta seems to be struggling with one of the bay leaves, which she’s finding hard to chew. “If you’re not supposed to eat it, why is it in the stew?”

Milor gives Jazel a look. “Would you mind explaining seasonings to your sassy fox when you get the chance?”

Jazel reaches over, carefully extracting the bay leaf from Kayenta’s mouth. “Seasonings provide flavor to a food, but sometimes they aren’t edible.” he explains. “So they get cooked together, but you’re supposed to eat around the inedible seasonings, or remove them as you come across them. It’s like boiling chicken bones; you want to give the broth flavor, but you don’t want to eat the bones.”

“You’re not supposed to eat bones?” she says, giving him a perplexed look.

Jazel glances back at Milor. “Might be easier said than done.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” Ozzy says as he wipes the corner of his mouth. “Throw me in a river and call me a water moccasin. This is pretty dang good, Milor.”

“Shit.” I mutter, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth after I swallow. “It is good.”

“I thought you didn’t eat meat, Lysanne?” Jazel says, noticing that I’m eating along with everyone else.

“Well—” I start hastily.

“She’s an ethical vegetarian.” Milor declares, dipping another biscuit into his stew. “Which means that she won’t eat meat that’s unethically sourced, such as from industrial farms that have poor living conditions for livestock, and which raise creatures simply for the purpose of killing them for meat. But, if you kill the creature for ethical means or for a broader purpose — say, for example, hunting season for deer in order to keep their numbers in check so they don’t become a pest species — then it is ethical to use the body and carcass for something instead of simply letting it rot or go to waste. And since we killed these rabbits to balance the ecosystem they were disrupting — voila, ethical meat.”

Dandy seems to spend a moment processing that, then nods. “Yes. I suppose that does make sense. That would qualify as responsible use of natural resources.”

I can feel some of the tension leave me once Dandy seems to be okay with it, while Jazel scratches his cheek. “Huh. I never knew. Well, that’s good to know.” he says.

“Personally, I’m all for organic and natural products.” Ozzy opines. “Like, think about it. Do we even know what they do to the livestock they raise? They shovel all these growth hormones and steroids into the feedstock for these farm animals, and they seriously expect that stuff not to get passed on to the consumer once the animals have been processed into meat product? They say the meat is passed through sterilization procedures that breaks down any harmful chemicals before it hits the market, but c’mon, who’s buying that? Aside from all the people that buy it every day at the store, but y’know. I’ve read a few research papers that say that the physiological differences between Marshies, Venusians, ‘Riginals, and Mercurials can be traced back to generational diets and the kind of meat regulations that exist within each of those nations. If you ask me—”

“Fascinating, just fascinating.” Milor interrupts him, placing a biscuit next to Ozzy’s bowl, perhaps in the hopes that Ozzy won’t be able to ramble if he’s got food in his mouth. “Let’s table that for now, because I think we might want to talk about something that all of us are looking forward to, which is our upcoming vacation! I, personally, want to know what sights we can see and what cool things we can do on New Aurescura. Lysanne, Jazel, since you two are natives, why don’t you fill us in?”

“Oh. Well, uh… geez, I dunno.” Jazel says, blowing on another spoonful of steaming stew. “I mean, we’re gonna be spending most of our time in Falcon’s Crossing, where Lysanne and I grew up, so… there’s a lake nearby, we could go visit that, maybe do some camping?”

“Excellent! Camping, I’m all for that. Roasting smokies, doing s’mores, a little time in the great outdoors.” Milor nods. “What else, anything else?”

“It’ll be October, so the coven might be celebrating Hallow’s Eve.” I point out. “Might be some coven parties we could go to.”

“Spooky witch parties, I’m down for that.” Milor says, pointing his spoon at me.

“Oh, there’s the Cathedral of Aurescura.” Ozzy adds. “I’ve heard it’s gorgeous. One of the biggest, most elaborate cathedrals in the galaxy, dedicated to preserving the legends of Aurescura. Maybe we could tour that while we’re there?”

Milor shrugs. “Can’t say I’m a big fan of going to church, but if everyone else is okay with it, then I’m down.”

“Oh shit.” Jazel says suddenly, his eyes going wide as he lowers his spoon back into his bowl. “I forgot to tell Mum about Kaya!”

We all stare at him. “You… didn’t tell her about Kaya?” I repeat uncertainly.

“Well, I— I told her about Kaya, but like— in the broad, general sense, not—” Jazel says, pressing his fingers to his temples. “Mum knows Kaya exists. She doesn’t know I have a girlfriend.”

“Ohohohoh.” Milor chuckles into his spoon. “Sounds like someone’s got a lot of explaining to do.”

“Is there a reason why that would be an issue?” Dandy asks, sounding perplexed.

“Well, yeah!” Jazel says, gesturing helplessly. “What do I say when she asks us how we met? What if she asks how old Kaya is? How do I tell her my girlfriend’s four centuries older than me?”

Kayenta pauses with her spoon halfway to her mouth. “Is that a bad thing?” she asks.

Jazel quickly turns to her. “No, well, not to me—”

“It is a bit of an age gap.” Ozzy grimaces. “Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for interspecies relationships, but a mother is definitely gonna have questions about why her son’s girlfriend is more than ten times older than him.”

“I mean, she doesn’t look four centuries old.” I point out. “We can just… gloss over it for the first little bit, until your mom gets to know Kaya a little better?”

“Okay, yeah. I guess that works.” Jazel says, rubbing the side of his head. “But how do we explain how we met?”

“In the forest. Do you not remember?” Kayenta says, putting her spoon down.

“Well yeah, I remember that part.” Jazel says. “But how to I explain to my mom that you tried to kill me, multiple times, then snuck onto the Drift and tried to kill me again?”

“Oh.” Kayenta says, her brows furrowing as if she was suddenly remembering. “Yeah, I guess I did try to do that.”

Milor gives a sharp snort of laughter. “Gods, Fluffy, you’re a comedian sometimes.”

“You could… say that you met her at work?” I offer weakly. “Honestly, I really don’t know how to spin that into something that won’t raise eyebrows.”

“Here’s an idea: you tell her the truth.” Ozzy proposes. “Tell her Kaya was a dangerous, rare creature that was trying to kill you, but she ended up falling in love with you instead. Women love those kinds of charmed fairytales.”

“Problem is that we’re not in a fairytale. We are in real life.” I counter flatly. “And what is romantic in fairytales often counts as red flags in real life. Like trying to kill someone. That’s a major red flag, and most reasonable people are going to recognize that. Especially a mother who’s curious about the woman that’s dating her only son.”

Kaya shrugs. “Why don’t we just lie to her?”

“Looka that, Fluffy coming in clutch with the simple solutions.” Milor smirks, clearly finding great amusement in all of this.

“Easier said than done.” I mutter. “Besides, do you really want to lie to your boyfriend’s mother?”

“Lying won’t work.” Jazel says, rubbing an eyebrow. “Mom’s going to ask about what you do for work, where you come from, what your childhood was like, what your parents do for work… one thing leads to another, and any lie we tell is eventually going to fall apart.” He puffs out a defeated breath. “I’ll just have to tell her the truth and hope she takes it well.”

“I think telling the truth will serve you best.” Dandy says. “Your mother will not make any unpleasant discoveries later if you tell the truth to start. And you have roughly two weeks to figure out how to break the news to her. There will be adequate time to prepare.”

“Ah, that’s no fun, strawberry soda. You’re suckin’ all the drama out of it.” Milor complains. “It’s almost like you want us to behave like normal, well-adjusted adults.”

“Trust me, Deputy: when it comes to mothers and mothers-in-law, you wanna keep things drama-free.” Ozzy says, sipping from his glass. “It ain’t wise to play games with them, because they know how to play. And they will win, I guarantee you that.”

“Eh, you got a point there. Ain’t wise to mess with the old battleaxe.” Milor concedes. “Well, worse comes to worse, you’ll have us there to vouch for Fluffy. So even if you tell the truth and yer mum has some reservations, we can back you up and attest that she’s good for you.”

“Mmm, I wouldn’t go that far…” I say, dipping my biscuit in the stew’s broth, then catch Kayenta glaring at me. “I’m joking, Kaya. I wouldn’t be letting you two room together if I thought you’d be dangerous to him.” I glance at Jazel. “Although you and I really do need to have a Talk about all this fox-fluffin’ you’re doing.”

Jazel starts to protest, but Milor cuts him off. “Tell ya what, why don’t we save that prickly topic until after dinner, yeah? And blondie, I’ll have that talk with him. That’s a talk that another man who has some years under his belt should be giving to him.”

“Or, y’know, we could just operate under the assumption that I’m a functioning adult that can manage his own bedroom affairs.” Jazel interjects before he can get cut off again. “Did anyone think about that?”

Kayenta leans over to Jazel. “Why are they worried about us mating?” she whispers.

Ozzy snorts his water at that, hacking and coughing it up as he braces himself on the table. “Man, that’s a way to phrase it.” he wheezes.

“Because blondie over here doesn’t want to play nanny for a bunch of fox kits.” Milor says, pointing his spoon at me.

I gape at him. “Wow, Milor. You saw the bus and you just had to throw someone under it, didn’t you.”

Kayenta lets out something of a smug laugh. “Hah! That’s funny. I’m not in heat. I won’t be having kits anytime soon.”

The entire table goes awkwardly silent at that.

Kayenta looks at Jazel. “Was that not funny? It was funny to me.”

Jazel shrugs. “I mean, it was kinda funny. It got everyone else to shut up, and it was probably more information than they wanted to know… but let’s be honest, you guys keep on pushing and prodding us, so you were kinda askin’ for it.”

“Alright. Fair’s fair.” Milor concedes, putting a hand up. “We been kinda pushy, that’s on us. If you guys know what you’re doin’, we’ll keep our noses out of it. So long as you’re being responsible and enjoying yourselves, that’s really all that matters.” With that, Milor gives me a sharp look.

I sigh. “Okay. Fine. Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to be nosy. I was just… concerned. But what you guys do is up to you, so long as it stays behind closed doors.”

“Thank you.” Jazel says, sounding relieved that we’re no longer pressuring him on his relationship. “…so, are we doing seconds, or…?”

“Oh sure, there’s plenty. Here, pass me your bowl.” Milor says, holding a hand out. “If we come across any other critters what need killed, I’ll see if I can do this again. I ain’t exactly the king of cuisine, but if there’s one thing I can do well, it’s whip up a mean meat stew. You want some more, blondie?”

“…you know what, screw it. Sure, why not.”

“There’s the spirit. Nothing like a hearty stew to put some meat on your bones and some hair on your chest.”

“Yeah, hard pass on the second part.”

Event Log: Lysanne Arrignis

Dandelion Drift: Lysanne’s Room

10:59pm SGT

“Uggghhhhh.” I say, falling back on my bed and flopping my head in Dandy’s lap. “I know I shouldn’t worry, but…”

“You are still concerned about Jazel and Kayenta?” Dandy asks, brushing my damp hair out of my eyes lock by lock. We’re both dressed in our nightclothes, slowly gearing down for the evening.

“Yeah… no… well kinda yeah… it’s complicated.” I grumble, fanning my arms out. “I mean, I’ve started to get used to the idea now, but…” I open my eyes after a moment, looking up at Dandy. “It’s just… weird. The idea of Jazel having sex. Like, that was one of the things that I knew more about than him. It was my thing. I was the one that had relationships and knew about sex and intimacy and like…” I rub a palm against my forehead as I struggle to articulate what I’m feeling. “Like, I knew about it, and I guess I had this idea in my head that since I knew more about it than him, he’d ask me about it. Or like. Look for my guidance on it. But no, he just… went for it!”

“Is that something that bothers you?” Dandy asks, sounding perplexed.

“Well yeah, it does, even though I know it shouldn’t… but it does.” I grumble. “I kinda expected he would look for my advice on it if and when he did eventually get around to it, but he didn’t. Clearly he doesn’t need my advice; I haven’t heard Kaya complaining about how he is in bed, and Kaya being Kaya, I’m pretty sure she’d be upfront about that sort of thing. Most times she says exactly what she’s thinking, so it’s not like she’d be holding back if she had complaints about his performance.” I press my palms to my eyes. “At least we don’t have to worry about her getting knocked up, since she’s not in heat right now. I don’t think I could handle Jazel becoming a parent before me.”

“Well, that and Jazel has been taking precautions as well.” Dandy points out. “He has been responsible, even if Kayenta is not in heat.”

“Yeah, I guess…” I mumble, letting my arms flop back out to either side. “That’s— that’s so weird to me. The idea of going into heat. Like, I thought that was something that only happened to Halfies, since they’re like, literally sixty percent animal.”

“It is unusual to you because you are human, and most human variations do not have a seasonal heat cycle.” Dandy explains. “On the other hand, many of the races which are least partly animal in nature do have heat cycles. And they tend to vary depending on the environment they are in, usually following the flow of seasons in order to time the birth of offspring during more clement weather. It may seem odd to you as someone that has never dealt with that, but it is quite natural for other species.”

“It’s just so weird.” I repeat, idly rubbing a hand over the covers. “I wonder what it’s like. Obviously there’s a lot of hormones being produced, and… do people get super horny when they’re in heat? Oh god, is it like being a teenager all over again?”

“Within Halfie literature, there is an abundance of material on how to get through and manage heat cycles. If you would like, I can cultivate a selection of publications that you could use to educate yourself on the topic.” Dandy offers.

“No… no, I think I’m good.” I decline. “I’m curious, but I’m not that curious. It just really makes you wonder sometimes.”

“Yes, I suppose it does.” Dandy agrees faintly, her digital-blue gaze wandering away.

I watch her for a moment, then bring my hands up, planting them on either side of her face. “Go on, spit it out. I know you’re thinking about something.”

“It’s nothing of consequence.”

“It is when you’re thinking about it. Tell me or I’ll squish your cheeks. Squoosh squoosh.”

“Well…” she begins hesitantly. “…during dinner, and the talking about Jazel and Kayenta’s intimacy, I was thinking about you and I, and I was wondering if… that’s something you were wanting. Or desired.”

“Oh.” I lower my hands, a little floored by that. “Um… well, was it something you wanted?”

“No no no!” Dandy says quickly, almost in a panic. “It’s just, that, since you’re organic, I understand that’s something— like, the need for intimacy is a common impulse for many organics well into their middle age, and, and I didn’t know if that’s s-something you wanted or expected out of our relationship.”

“Oh.” I say again, still floored and trying to figure out exactly what is happening in this conversation. “I mean… it’s fun, sure, and it’s one of the nice parts of a close relationship, but it’s not… okay, give me a moment, I’m trying to figure out what I’m trying to say here.” I take a deep breath, a couple of seconds to collect my thoughts, then look up at her. “What I’m trying to say is it’s not something I expect from you, and it’s not required to have a fulfilling relationship. Um… I wouldn’t mind it, personally. Is it… something you want?”

“Me? I mean, I, I don’t need it.” Dandy answers, an electric-blue blush coloring her pale skin as she looks away.

It takes me a moment to parse that, to read between the lines of Dandy-speak and what it often leaves unsaid. “Well, obviously you don’t need it.” I say. “But do you want it?”

An almost pained shrug is her answer, but the aquamarine blush doesn’t go away, and her gaze remains averted. It tells me all I need to know — it’s just a question of how I address it.

“Y’know, if it’s an experience you want to try out… I do know a fair bit about it.” I offer, pushing myself up on my elbows so I can sit up properly. “If you’re interested in it. And I’m in no big rush, so if you wanna take it slow, I could do that.” Hitching one arm over my knee, I glance at her. “And if it turns out not to be your cup of tea — that’s okay too. Sometimes we don’t know what we like or don’t like until we’ve given it a try.”

Dandy bites her lip, rubbing the back of her neck. “I— uhm, well, I… I’m not… sure…”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to answer right now.” I say, reaching out to tuck a lock of glossy red hair behind one of her ears. “Take some time to think about it. Figure out what you want. There’s no big rush.” Leaning forward, I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll still love you, regardless of what you choose.” Moving past her, I flip the covers up and start getting settled in. “Are you staying tonight, or…?”

She looks to the door. “I should probably go… nothing to do with you, it’s just I have… a lot to think about.” she says haltingly.

I nod. “Fair enough.” I say, starting to pull the covers up and over. “Have a good night, then. And if you want to talk, just let me know.”

She nods, sliding off the bed. I hear her footsteps on the floor as I turn on my side, and they pause halfway to the door, then hurry back. The bed bounces slightly, accompanied by a gust of cold air as the covers are pulled up, and a moment later I can feel Dandy curling up against my back, the tip of her nose brushing up against the nape of my neck.

“Change your mind?” I ask softly, smiling to myself.

I can feel her give a quick nod, one of her arms curling over my side. Reaching down, I lace my fingers through hers, and pull up her hand so I plant a kiss on her knuckles.

“I’m glad.” I murmur, getting cozy and closing my eyes.