Valiant: Tales From The Archive

[CURSEd #6: Truest Selves]

Log Date: 11/10/12763

Data Sources: Darrow Bennion

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

CURSE HQ: Administrator Tenji’s Office

5:08pm SGT

“I don’t quite know where to begin.”

Those words put a bit of fear into me. Primarily because they imply there’s a lot to talk about, and long talks usually mean you did something wrong. Nobody ever sits you down for a long talk about how you did something right; they usually sit you down for a long talk about what you did wrong.

That, and the fact that it’s Administrator Tenji saying it.

It’s not just directed at me, though. All three of us are seated in the Administrator’s office — Kwyn, Whisper, and myself — lined up in chairs in front of her desk. The Administrator herself is seated behind her desk, with Nazka standing off to the side of it; his scowl today is a little more judgmental than it usually is. Sitting on the Administrator’s desk in a glass containment cell is the orange sphere that we recovered from Chibundi.

“There’s a lot to cover, but I think we should start on the most important, and positive note: you managed to recover the artifact and return it safely to HQ.” Tenji says, nodding to the cell on her desk. “I can’t overstate how critical this is now that the resurgents have the backup archive. Though we can’t yet disclose what role this will play, it is a significant one, which makes your success all the more important. This was a job well done by all three of you.”

“Which brings us to the next point.” Nazka says, his tone wintry. “While it was a job well done, it was not your job to do in the first place, Whisper. Would you care to explain your actions to us?”

Whisper shrugs from where she’s slouched in her chair. “Sure, it wasn’t my job to do, but I helped get it done. You got a problem with that?”

“You snuck off the HQ, failing to notify anyone of your departure and thereby removing yourself from the roster of first responders we have in reserve for galactic issues, snuck onto a ship you were not authorized to be on, and inserted yourself into an assignment that was classified as top secret — an assignment which you did not have clearance for.” Nazka says in clipped tones. “To whit: yes, there are several problems with what you did, putting your nose in places it was not supposed to be, and potentially causing a number of issues by doing so.”

It prompts another shrug from Whisper. “I’m covert ops. Sneaking around and sticking my nose into places it’s not supposed to be is my entire job description.”

“It is your job as it pertains to legitimate targets and organizations outside of CURSE. Those skills are not to be turned against the employer which pays you for them.” Nazka says sharply.

“If she hadn’t been there, I’m not sure we would’ve gotten the artifact back.” Kwyn speaks up at this point. She’d been quiet up until this point, sticking to her habitually well-behaved quietude. “We only managed to snag it back from Jackrabbit because Whisper was there to sneak it away from her.”

“Thank you, I’m glad someone actually appreciates my contributions.” Whisper says, leaning forward to look around me at Kwyn, who colors a little and looks away.

“You were not given permission to speak, recruit.” Nazka says tartly to Kwyn.

I can feel my temperature start to rise, and I’m about to chew out Nazka for talking to my trainee that way, but Tenji speaks before I can. “Nazka, that’s enough.” she says, lacing her fingers together. “We do recognize that Whisper played a critical part in recovering the objective. However, Whisper, there is something to be said for minding the saying that curiosity killed the cat.”

“It’s racist to say that to a Calyri, y’know.” Whisper shoots back without missing a beat, folding her arms and slouching in her chair again. “And you forgot the part where satisfaction brought it back.”

“I would say it to you whether you were a werecat or not.” Tenji replies evenly. “And I know that it’s in your nature to explore and snoop around, but you should bear in mind that if you aren’t careful, someday satisfaction will not be enough to bring you back. That’s all I’m going to say about that for now.” From there, her attention goes to Kwyn, sitting on my other side. “Ms. Resquill. You’ve been holding out on us.”

Kwyn shrinks down in her seat a little.

“As I understand it, not even Axiom understood the true extent of your abilities.” Tenji goes on, her crimson eyes fixed on Kwyn. “I will not lie: it raises a great many questions. Nazka pulled your application and the background check we ran on you. There was no mention of this ability on your application, and no evidence of it in the background check we ran. Is there a reason you chose not to disclose this information?”

Kwyn looks uncomfortable; I can see her tawny eyes darting from Tenji to the rest of us. When her eyes flick to me, I nod to her. “It’s okay, Kwyn. You’re not in trouble; they just want to know why you didn’t tell us about this. If someone can do what you can do, usually they put that at the top of their application in big bold letters, since it increases their chances of being recruited and getting a specialized role within CURSE. We’re not used to recruits hiding those sorts of abilities from us.”

“We pride ourselves on identifying talent and giving it an opportunity to grow and blossom.” Nazka adds. “But it’s difficult for us to offer that opportunity if the talent is kept hidden.”

Kwyn presses her lips together, still looking uncomfortable. “I didn’t want special treatment. I wanted to get into CURSE and earn my place based on how hard I worked, not because of something I was born with.”

Tenji’s lips curl in a wistful smile. “You remind me a friend I had when I was younger.” she says, nodding. “I can respect that, Kwyn. That’s an honest, honorable way to approach things. It says a lot about you, as a person, that you’d be willing to hide that to prove that you’re more than just the unique powers you have. However, that being said…”

“We are not in a time that allows for modesty.” Nazka says, picking up where Tenji left off. “These are dangerous times; I’m sure you understand that, now that you’ve been on your first assignment, and you can see what the resurgent Challengers are capable of. Especially seeing how obtaining this artifact cost us the lives of four operatives.” He gives a nod to the containment cell on Tenji’s desk. “If you have a unique ability, we need you to use it for the good of the galaxy — not hide it.”

“I will use it. I do use it.” Kwyn says quickly. “Just… only when I have to. When people need to be protected. I don’t use it to show off or impress people.”

“We can see that, considering how you brought it out on the last assignment.” Tenji says. “But we still need to know more about it — what it is, where you get this ability from, and what its limits are, so we know exactly what you can do, and who we can place you with to train it further.”

Kwyn straightens a little at that, her eyes widening. “I’m already training with Axiom.” she points out.

“You are, but Axiom has no experience with arcane abilities.” Nazka says. “He does not have the magical skillset or experience needed to help you progress and expand whatever it is you can do.”

“Can I train with him and another Peacekeeper?” Kwyn asks quickly.

Tenji raises an eyebrow. “You value his mentorship that much?”

“I trust and respect him, and I’ve learned a lot from him already.” Kwyn declares.

“I mean, most of what I learned, I learned from Whisper…” I mumble.

Whisper smirks sidelong at me, while Kwyn glances at me, then back to Tenji. “I want to train with Whisper too.” she adds.

Nazka rolls his eyes. “Whisper also does not possess any inherent arcane talent, aside from morphing into a universal symbol of ill fortune.”

“Well I’m sorry that me n’ Axe don’t have the special sparkle fingers like you and Kwyn do.” Whisper says, sticking her tongue out at Nazka. “Doesn’t mean we’re useless. There’s a whole lot more to being a Peacekeeper than being able to chuck a fireball or summoning an oversized guard dog. We can train her on close combat, firearms, piloting, negotiation, stealth tactics, all sorts of stuff. And she can probably figure out the magic stuff on her own. Hell, it seems like she’s already got it figured out, from what I saw on Chibundi.”

“A valid point.” Tenji admits. “Be that as it may, we need Kwyn to be able to realize her maximum potential. I’m not averse to letting her work towards that on her own, but I expect you to support her in that, Axiom. Her power is the sort that can flip the tables in most combat engagements. If she runs up against a wall in her progress, I expect you to seek out resources that can help her overcome it. The same goes for you, Whisper.”

“So we’re not going to assign her to someone that actually shares a similar skillset with her?” Nazka asks, looking to Tenji.

“She already shares a common bond with Axiom. I think that mutual respect is more important than matching skillsets.” Tenji says.

“As a matter of a well-rounded team composition, perhaps.” Nazka says. “As a matter of training, I disagree. She needs someone that understands the laws of her particular breed of magic.”

“I know what I’m capable of.” Kwyn insists. “This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I’ve already got a good grip on it, and I know my limits.”

“This is a discussion we can have later.” Tenji cuts in before Nazka can reply. “For now, I would like to return to the main topic. Originally only Axiom was supposed to be privy to this particular project. However, both of you now seem to be cued in on it, Kwyn because Axiom told you, and Whisper because you were snooping around. To that end, and considering the exposure you’ve already had to it, we’ve elicited to add both of you as active resources on this project.”

“We will tell you both what we told him: this is a sensitive project, and not a word of it is to be spoken outside of these walls.” Nazka says with a certain acidity. “If we find that you have disclosed information about this initiative, you will be removed from it. And we will actually enforce it this time.” He finishes with a withering look in my direction.

“Though I’m sure both of you know bits and pieces, you have yet to be brought up to speed on the Spark assignments.” Tenji says. “We will remedy that soon. For the time being, you are all dismissed to go relax — it was a long trip, and I’m sure you three would like some downtime.”

“Yes please.” Whisper says, standing up and stretching. “I hate those cramped quarters on military ships. It’s gonna be a relief to sprawl out on my own bed in my own room again.”

“I apologize for any problems we may have caused you, Administrator.” I say, standing up. “I’ll be more circumspect with this project in the future.”

“See to it that you do.” Nazka says coldly. “At least you recognize your failings, which is more than can be said for other people.” The pointed words are directed at Whisper, who’s already well on her way to the door, fingers laced behind her head.

“I also apologize for any problems I may have caused by concealing my abilities.” Kwyn says, also standing up. “I’ll do my best to hone them and use them for the public good from here on out.”

Tenji smiles that familiar, kindly smile she’s always had. “I couldn’t ask for anything more. You’re dismissed, operatives. Go get some rest.”

I nod and give a salute, and Kwyn follows suit and does the same. Walking back around the chairs, we make our way to the doorway and out into the hall, the door closing behind us. We remain in silence as we start walking, and after a while, I tuck my hands in my pockets and look at Whisper. “Gritter’s?” I ask.

She smirks back at me and nods. “Gritter’s.” she agrees.

I pull out my phone. “I’ll start ordering our drinks. What do you want, Kwyn?”

Kwyn looks startled. “You want me to come with you?” she asks.

“Well, yeah.” Whisper says, looking over her shoulder. “Peacekeeper tradition. Every time we come back from a successful mission, we get drinks at Gritter’s.”

“But I’m not a Peacekeeper.” Kwyn points out.

“Not yet you aren’t.” Whisper says, turning about to give a light punch to Kwyn’s shoulder. “Let’s be real. You’re gonna be a Peacekeeper one day, kid. It’s just a matter of time.”

Kwyn looks as me, as if expecting to tell her it was a joke. I just shrug, giving her a smile. “Whisper’s right. I think it’s just a matter of time.”

It seems like she’s fighting a grin as color rises to her face, both excited and embarrassed by the implied praise. “Well, uhm. I don’t drink a lot, so… do they serve fizzwater?”

“C’mon, girl! You survived squarin’ off with Jackrabbit, a legendary Challenger! You gotta get somethin’ better than fizzwater to celebrate that!”

“Lay off her, Whisper, let her order what she wants. I think I’ll get a fizzwater too, I’m feeling bubbly tonight.”

“Bugger that, you guys are no fun. So I’m the only one getting sozzled tonight? I guess I’ll just have to get sozzled enough for the both of you.”

“Fine, but if I have to carry you back to your room tonight, you’re payin’ the tab.”

“Deal. No takebacks. Now let’s go get rip-roarin’ drunk!”

The News

“Good evening galaxy, and welcome back to the nightly news roundup. Our top story tonight: a new push by the Colloquium to get member nations in the galactic core to set vaccination quotas of at least ninety-five percent for all populated planets. For more on this, we go to Shina Sothsby, reporting live from the Colloquium itself.”

“Hallo, Clarence. As you’re aware, this bill had been in the works for some time now, but it’s finally been brought to the floor of the Colloquium senate. At the moment, the senate is currently in the debate phase, during which senators can discuss the merits of the bill and raise objections to it. It’s expected that the bill will pass, though not with a unanimous vote.”

“For those viewers that might not know what this bill is about — could you give us a quick breakdown, Shina?”

“Of course. This is a bill that would mandate that all the populated planets of the galactic core are required to meet population vaccination quotas matching those of the frontier worlds. Those vaccinations are, of course, the yearly ones you get to boost your immune system against Collective spores.”

“Is there a particular reason for that, Shina? I understand why frontier worlds need to vaccinate almost their entire population against Collective spores, because of their typical proximity to Collective space. But the worlds within the galactic core aren’t in as much danger from a sudden assimilation campaign.”

“That’s true, Clarence, but ‘less danger’ does not mean ‘no danger’. If the Collective were to break through the defensive line presented by the frontier worlds, or skip past it altogether and launch an attack on a system in the galactic core, there is a chance that it would meet with a surprising amount of success. As you know, every individual that the Collective assimilates means one less person to fight against them, and one more person to fight for them. The math doesn’t favor us, hence the tactical importance of the vaccination quota — a heavily vaccinated planet is much harder for the Collective to assimilate en masse, and usually forces them to rely on more conventional methods of warfare, rather than bombarding the planet with spore bombs and waiting for the population to be assimilated.”

“Well, sounds like a no-brainer when you put it that way, Shina. But you said this vote was not expected to pass with unanimous consent? This implies there are those that would vote against this bill, correct?”

“Yes, Clarence, and for a variety of reasons. I took the time to speak with some that plan on voting against the bill, or objecting to certain provisions of it. For many of these prospective ‘no’ votes, logistical difficulties and economic cost were the chief reasons for disagreeing with the bill’s provisions. Others took issue with what they considered a blank check being written to the major pharmaceutical companies that research, manufacture, and provide the most common vaccines to protect against Collective spores. An important thing to note here is that none of these ‘no’ votes disagree with the need for higher vaccination rates, and they do acknowledge the Collective is a very real and present threat. They do believe more vaccinations need to happen — they simply disagree with the way that this bill is proposing that we do them.”

“If I may be so bold, Shina — slow-walking legislative initiatives and defensive infrastructure is a known tactic of Collective deep cover agents. Are there concerns that these senators voting ‘no’ on this bill might be compromised by the Collective?”

“It is an accusation that’s already been leveled several times in this session of the Colloquium, and has inspired some particularly nasty instances of mudslinging. Some of the ‘yes’ vote senators have demanded that the holdouts take a spore test and publicly release the results to prove they aren’t Collective spies, and many of the holdouts have retaliated with accusations of ideological purity tests. However, much of this is performative politics; it’s unlikely that it will change any minds, and may simply be intended to score hits against political opponents while the opportunity presents itself.”

“And what does the Collective’s representation in the Colloquium have to say about all this?”

“Per the Collective’s usual political playbook, their response to the bill is to downplay and deny. When asked for comment, the office of the Collective’s senator released a statement attesting that the Collective’s intentions are peaceful and progressive, and that the bill essentially amounted to an act of democratized racism against the Collective. However, like many other exchanges during this current session of the Colloquium, the statement is seen as largely performative — the Collective knows perfectly well why the bill is being brought to the floor, and nobody seriously believes the accusations in the statement, given the Collective’s plodding, millennia-long campaign to assimilate the entirety of the galaxy.”

“Thank you, Shina. Up next: Junko figurines: what are they, and why is everybody collecting them? We’ll take a look inside an industry that’s been around for a while, but is starting to suddenly take off in popularity…”

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

CURSE HQ: Elite Suites floor

9:56pm SGT

“Alright, Whisper, c’mon. We’re almost there.”

“Why ca’ yew jusssssss caaaaaaarry meeeeeee?”

“I tried carrying you earlier, but you wouldn’t stop flailing.”

“Oh… right. Ah fergat about tha’.”

“Mhmm.”

I do my best to keep walking in a straight line as Whisper keeps leaning heavily against me. On Whisper’s other side, Kwyn is some mix of amused and concerned at how drunk Whisper is, alternating between muffling little giggles and raising eyebrows at me. I just smile and shake my head at her when she does so; it’s not something I’m going to remark on while Whisper’s here.

“Looks like we’re almost there.” I say, watching the nameplates beside each well-spaced door. “I don’t envy the hangover you’re going to have tomorrow, but hey, maybe you’ll learn from it this time.”

“Hey. I earn d’it.” Whisper says, taking a finger and jabbing it in my side. “Yew shoul’ ha’ moar fun. Wiff me. We shoul’ ha’ sum fun tonight.”

“Ah ha ha, no. I know where this is going.” I say, taking her by the shoulders and piloting her around to the door as we reach her room. “You’re drunk and trying to make decisions you wouldn’t make if you were sober. What you need is some water and eight hours of sleep.”

Whisper bats my hands off her shoulders so she can turn around unsteadily. “Awh, c’mahn, Dare. Le’s play. Y’nevah ha’ fun. Y’gotta—” She stops dead, noticing Kwyn standing off to the side. “When’d she get heah??”

“Kwyn’s been here all along, Whisper. She just doesn’t say a lot.” I explain patiently as Kwyn lofts a little wave at Whisper.

Whisper leans back against her door, grinning slyly at me. “She’s pretty.”

“Yes, she is.” I agree, reaching out to take Whisper’s hand with her bracelet, and lift it up to hold it over access pad beside her door. It chirps, and the door slides open behind her, resulting in her falling backwards into her room with a little yelp. “And you’re drunk. It’s time for you to get some rest.”

Whisper groans from the floor. “Nooooot fair.”

“You’ll thank me later.” I say, using a foot to push Whisper’s feet past the threshold so her door can close properly. “Have a good night, Whisper.” With that, I tap on the access pad beside her door, and it slides shut once more.

In the ensuing silence, I glance aside to Kwyn. “She’s drunk.” I say, as if that explained everything.

Kwyn lets off a shy shrug, clearly amused. “She seems pretty into you.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s saying. She won’t remember it in the morning.” I say, tucking my hands into my pockets as I start walking. “She always gets like that when she’s had too much. I keep telling her not to drink that much, but she never listens when she comes back from a successful assignment.”

Kwyn falls in step beside me, mirroring me with her hands in her pockets. “How often does she come back from a successful assignment?”

“She usually averages one or two assignments a month, so she doesn’t get like this all too often.” I say, scuffing my shoes over the tile. “She’s a flirt at other times, but it’s usually more subtle. When she’s drunk, it gets a little more blatant.”

“A ‘little’.”

“Alright, well a lot more blatant, but you get what I mean.” I glance at her. “What about you? Did you have a good night?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I had a good time.” she say, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “It was interesting to see what Peacekeepers are like when they’re not on assignments or training. I feel like I know you two a little better now.”

“Underneath the uniforms, we’re all normal people.” I say. “We hang out, we have fun, we hate waking up on Monday mornings just like everyone else. The only thing that’s different about us is that we’re better at our jobs than everyone else.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” Kwyn remarks. The conversation peters out with that, and we walk in silence for a bit; it feels awkward on my end, and possibly for her as well. I’m not great at beating these awkward moments, but I don’t want my relationship with Kwyn to be awkward; I want to be able to spend time with her and have it be comfortable.

“Hey, Kwyn.” I say after mustering up the courage to break the silence. “If you don’t mind me asking… why’s your hair white? Is it a mage thing? I know it’s more common for people that have arcane talent.”

She glances at me, then reaches up to wind a finger through her long white hair. “It runs in my family. My mother and my grandfather both had white hair when they were young, and both of them could manifest their spirit forms, so it might have something to do with magic as well. I got a lot of questions about it when I was in school, but I just shrugged it off by telling people it was genetic. You get tired of answering the same question over and over again, y’know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine that.” I agree. “Should I not have asked you?”

She glances quickly at me. “What? Oh no, it’s fine. I don’t mind you asking. I can get why you’d be curious, since you’re my trainer.”

“I appreciate that.” I say as we keep idling our way down the hall. “You’ll let me know if I’m ever too nosy, right? I might be your trainer, but you don’t have to answer everything I ask you.”

“I don’t think you’d push too far. Seems to me like you’re pretty respectful of people’s boundaries.” she says. “That was nice, what you did for Whisper. I can tell you care about her.”

“Well, yeah.” I admit. “She’s my friend. We go back a ways, and friends look out for each other. She breaks the rules and disobeys orders sometimes, but she’s a good person. She trained me, and I still kinda look up to her even though I’m a Peacekeeper now. She’s got this fearless bravery, not just in combat, but just in who she is — she’s not scared to speak her mind and act on her beliefs, even if breaks the rules. The rest of us, even among the Peacekeepers, we let the rules constrain us most times. We’re never really our truest selves, even when we’re trying to be our best selves. But Whisper is her truest self. And that takes a certain kind of courage that sometimes even the best of us don’t have.”

Kwyn smiles. “Her truest self, unafraid of getting blackout drunk and trying to drag you into bed with her.”

I chuckle a bit at that. “Yes, her truest self — for better and for worse. Being your truest self doesn’t always mean you’re being your best self.” I slow to a halt outside the door of my room, taking my hands out of my pockets. “Well, this is my stop. I’m glad you came along with us tonight, Kwyn. Hope we can do it again soon sometime. I’m sure Whisper would like that as well; she doesn’t like drinking alone.”

“Who does, really.” Kwyn says, still smiling a little. “Hey Axe?”

“Yeah?” I say, tapping my bracelet against the access pad, the door sliding open.

“Did you really mean what you said earlier? About me eventually becoming a Peacekeeper?” she asks, looking right at me.

I nod, slipping my hands back in my pockets. “I did mean it. You’re still going to have to put in the effort, prove you’re worthy of the rank. But I feel like I know you enough to know that that’s exactly what you’re going to do. That’s why I feel that it’s only a matter of time. Because you’re that kind of person, and I know you’ll do what you need to do in order to earn your place.”

That smile turns a little shyer as she looks away. “Thanks. I’ll keep working towards it, and prove that I deserve the rank. Have a good night, Axe.”

I smile back at her. “Have a good night, Kwyn.”

With that, I turn and step into my room, waving my hand and signaling the door to close behind me. Taking a long breath, I stand there, soaking in the silence, and thinking about how I’m feeling, the buzzy warmth in my chest and how it felt when she smiled at me. I know I probably shouldn’t be feeling this way; it’s not wise, and there’s all sorts of things that could go wrong with it.

It’s never a great idea to fall for the recruit you’re training.

Podcast: HDYK? Episode 359

(How Do You Kill…?)

Mark: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of How Do You Kill…? For the first-time listeners, I’m Mark, and this is Jania!

Jania: Hey all, glad to have you here with us today!

M: So over the past few months, we’ve been accruing some extremely specific, popular requests. As you all know, we cover a range of ‘How do you kill’ questions, all the way from the mundane and practical—

J: Ant infestations, wasps, creepy-crawlies that you don’t want in your home…

M: —to the almost comedically specific.

J: We once did an episode on how to kill Dan Splainsworthy, that was a blast.

M: For those of you that are wondering, you can’t kill Dan Splainsworthy. The man knows everything, and he will always see you coming.

J: But it was a good episode! You should check it out sometime if you have the chance, it was a hoot. We had more fun with that one than actually doing any serious dissection of how you’d kill a guy that knows everything.

M: Anyway, a lot of our Baitreon supporters have really been chomping at the bit for the person we’re going to dissect on this episode. We resisted doing it at first, but you guys just love your superpowered celebrity episodes, so here it is:

J: This week on How Do You Kill…?, we’re gonna tell you how to kill Songbird.

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

CURSE HQ: Repair Lab

11/11/12763 9:11am SGT

“Why. Just why?” Kent demands, his arms folded.

I swing my hands behind my back, clasping them there. “Is there a problem?” I ask.

“Is there a—” he sputters, then frees an arm to motion to the Axiom suit, which is hanging on its scaffolding beside him, in a sorry state indeed. “Is there a problem? Is there a problem? I dunno, Dare, why don’t you tell me? Is there a problem?”

“Welllll…” I say slowly, sizing up the damage to my power armor. The exterior plating along one side has been slagged and melted away due to the plasma grenade, the plating that’s still intact is dented and scored with dozens of hits, and the exposed parts of the subsurface articulation groups are showing damage to the various microgears. And that’s just the major stuff. “…in my defense, I did square off with one of the last legendary Challengers.”

“It looks like ya took the suit and played a game of tag with a cruise missile!” Ken says incredulously, running a hand through his hair. “Look at this mess! This thing’s going to be in the shop for weeks while I get this sorted out. Look at these slagged plates! This ain’t salvageable; I’m gonna have to melt these down and recast them. And that’s not even talking about the damage to the microgears! You know how hard it is to replace and recalibrate those?”

“I assume it’s pretty hard, considering how hard you’re complaining about it.” I say, wandering around to take a look at the suit. “But hey, the important part is that it did its job, right?” I motion to myself. “I’m still alive and in one piece.”

“I’d almost rather take the suit whole, and you in pieces.” he mutters, tugging at one of the slagged plates until it breaks loose. “You’re lookin’ at a month of repairs. Recasting is pretty simple, it just takes time, but there’s a fair amount of structural damage here. I’m going to need to identify all the damaged articulation arrays and either repair or replace them, then make sure they’re appropriately calibrated. It’s time-consuming work.” He turns, pointing that slagged plate at me. “Axiom is out of commission for a month. Hope you don’t plan on going toe-to-toe with any Challengers in the next thirty days.”

“A month isn’t a long time in the big picture. Took two weeks to get to the Gnist System and back again, after all.” I say, folding my arms. “If it comes down to it, I’ll just grab a set of light power armor that the regular operatives use if I have to hit the field. I’m not above using the basic kit if something needs to get done.”

“I hope, for your sake, they don’t send you on any assignments until your power armor is repaired.” Kent says, tossing the slagged plate on the worktable as he grabs his hand torch. “You’ve got a bad habit of playing the hero card, running yourself right into the line of fire to save idiots that have bitten off more than they can chew. Do me a favor and try to remember you’re a lot squishier when you’re not walking around in your metal coffin, aight?”

“Don’t worry, I’m perfectly aware of my mortality.” I say as he starts cutting away more of the slagged plates. “So, what’s been going on while I’ve been gone? Fill me in; I didn’t have the time to catch up on current events since I just got in yesterday.”

“Ain’t much to tell.” Kent grunts, yanking off another slagged plate as he finishes cutting through it. “Been a bunch of the same here. Dunno if you saw the news yet, but the Masklings are coming out swinging, and doubling down on Songbird even after Echo’s assassination. It looks like they tricked him into sitting down and talking about how Echo was like family to him, and didn’t tell him the cameras were rolling. It almost made me feel sorry for him.”

“So… some sort of press release, I guessing?” I say, passing him a set of pliers when he holds his hand out.

“Yeah, it was meant to clear his name and prove he didn’t kill Echo.” Kent says, fixing the pliers on another slagged plate to hold it still. “Personally, I’d still say he’s a bad dude, since he’s got Nova’s name on his kill card. Even if he didn’t kill Echo, that doesn’t erase the fact that he has killed other Challengers before. And I’ve heard Nova was a close friend of his, so that just makes it worse. I dunno.” He yanks and twists another slagged plate out of its interlock with an intact plate. “If they were paying me for my opinion, I’d be a pundit on the big screen, not here.”

“They can’t honestly think he’s a good person, right?” I ask as he tosses the plate on the worktable with all the others. “The Masklings, I mean. Everybody knows that he killed Nova fifteen years ago and was the reason the Challenger program got shuttered. I mean, maybe he’s become a better person since then, but…”

“Who knows what the Masklings think.” Kent says, reaching up and wiping some sweat off his forehead. “It’s not like they’re bastions of purity and virtue either. They spent centuries kidnapping people and Masking them against their will, and they’ve only just started to ‘reform’ in the last couple of millennia. If you can even call it that. Seems like they’ve switched gears; instead of kidnapping people, they keep trying to stuff their sleeper agents in every government they can get them into. Irony, right?”

“I guess it’s spying is slightly better than kidnapping people?” I offer. “Progress in small steps, I suppose.”

“At this rate, they’ll be a law-abiding society in another ten thousand years.” Kent says, sizing up the suit as if he was evaluating what part to work on next. “Anyway, the point I was trying to get at is that maybe the Masklings see a kindred spirit in Songbird, or sommat. They probably know he’s not a good person, but they know they aren’t good people either. Birds of a feather flock together and all that shit.”

“Guess that makes sense.” I admit. “Question is, can they convince the rest of the galaxy to sympathize with him?”

“They’re slick, I’ll givvem that.” Kent says, reaching up and rapping the pliers on one of the suit’s plates, as if to test if it was solid. “You ever seen their ads for Quill Sanctuaries and the local Maskling meet’n’greets? It almost makes you feel sorry that Masklings catch so much hate from every other race. They’re kinda like… what is it, that religion that Prophet’s a part of?”

“Anayans?”

“Anayans, yeah. Nicest people in the galaxy! They’re always so polite and helpful. You move in next to them, they bring you cookies. Need help with cleanup after a storm? They’ll come over and pitch in. Disaster happens in some part of the galaxy? They’ll send supplies and volunteers to help with recovery. It almost makes you forget that they believe that humans shouldn’t mix with nonhumans, and that unmarried couples are an affront to their goddess, and… well, you know all the traditionalist classics.”

“Chastity belts, racial purity, the Shyl-tari were right, etc etc.” I say, leaning back against the worktable.

“Yeah. That.” Kent says, pointing the pliers at me. “Anayans are so nice that you almost forget that they believe these awful, antiquated things. Masklings are kind of like that. They’re pretty okay, until you remember that they require a host to survive, and that host has to give up their individuality and let themselves be absorbed.”

I scratch my cheek. “Yeah, but Anayans choose their religion, their way of thinking and living. Masklings don’t get to choose that. Important distinction there.”

Kent pauses for a long moment, then gives me a drilling look. “I understand what you’re saying on a conceptual level, and I don’t like that I agree with you.”

I shrug. “I mean, those are the facts, right? Nobody chooses the race they’re born to.”

“Now look here, I didn’t invite logic and reason to interrupt my bitching.” Kent warns me, tipping his goggles down over his eyes, cranking up the hand torch so he can keep working on suit. “I’ll admit you’re right. Can’t blame ‘em for being born as Masks. That’s gotta be a tough hand to be dealt; I wouldn’t envy being born into their race.” He pauses, pulling his goggles up again. “Although, how do they reproduce? Do they do the tickle tango like most other species do, or like… what? Do you rub two Masks together until a third one blips into existence?”

“I don’t know, and I’m not interested in finding out.” I say, looking at the tools laid out on the worktable. “How did we get to talking about this? I honestly can’t remember how we got onto talking about Maskling reproduction.”

“Think it started when we were talking about the Masklings sticking up for Songbird?” Kent says, pulling his goggles back down again. “And how they couldn’t seriously believe he was a good person and all that.”

“Oh right, yeah.” I say, picking one of the slagged plates up and running my fingers over it. “Maybe they really do think he’s a good person. Apparently he saved several Masklings during the SCORN riot on Wisconsin.”

“Guess we’ll never know unless we talk to the dude himself.” Kent says, sparks flying as he works on cutting off another damaged plate. “Hey, tell me about your trainee. I’ve heard the rumors around HQ that she was hiding a pretty big card up her sleeve. Word from the rookies is that she’s basically a lock for the next Peacekeeper position, with the kind of power she’s packin’.”

“The rookies run their mouths almost as much as you do.” I say, trying to bend the damaged plate with my bare hands, but it doesn’t give. Even slagged, it’s some pretty strong armor. “She had a couple secrets she was keeping from us, but she’ll have to earn the Peacekeeper rank just like all the other Peacekeepers did. It’s not something we give to people just because they’ve got special powers.”

“Yeah, but let’s be real. Most of the Peacekeepers have special powers one way or another.” Kent says, tossing another damaged plate towards the worktable and missing it by a considerable margin. “And the fact that you’re training her personally just makes it that much more likely. Whisper took you under her wing all those years ago, and now look where you are.”

“Still had to earn it.” I point out, walking around the table to pick up the plate. “Being her trainee didn’t mean I got a free pass to the top. And believe me when I tell you that she worked me hard.”

“Oh, she worked you hard, did she?”

I straighten up with the damaged plate in both hands, glaring at him. “Don’t take that out of context.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.” he says, moving on to the next plate. “Well, on the bright side, once your recruit makes Peacekeeper, you won’t have to worry about dating across rank lines, since she’ll be the same rank as you.”

“Kent!”

“Look man, someone had to say it. Think I actually told the same thing to Whisper when she was training you.”

“You what?”

“Yeah, she pretty much reacted the same way you’re reacting now.”

“I swear, if I didn’t need you to repair my power armor…”

“But you do. Hey, if you’re not gonna catch a date with either of them, would you see about setting me up with one of them? Or both, I’m not picky.”

“No.”

“Damn shame. Well, if you won’t make yourself useful catching me a hot date, make yourself useful as an extra set of hands. Pass me that set of big grippers, would you?”

Podcast: HDYK? Episode 359 (cont’d)

(How Do You Kill…?)

Mark: Alright, so before we properly begin, we’re going to slap up the usual disclaimer that we do for these kinds of episodes: this episode is meant for infotainment and exploring theoretical situations. We do not advise you to act on the information we’re giving you here. For any of you potential vigilantes out there that are thinking about taking on Songbird, our advice to you is…

Jania: Don’t.

M: We’ve done some pretty hefty research on this, and as many of you are already aware, the guy is a Challenger. Basically a living weapon.

J: The dude literally killed a Starstruck. We did an episode on how to kill those, and you guys probably remember how hard it is to kill them.

M: Though not as hard as you might expect, for magical girls. But for your own safety, if you see the galaxy’s most notorious Challenger, please, for the love of all that is good and dipped in chocolate fondue: retreat to a safe distance, call the police, and do not try to fight him.

J: Right. So, with that out of the way — how do you kill Songbird, Mark?

M: Well, we’ve got to start with the basics, Jania, starting with what species Songbird is. A lot of you might not know it, but Songbird is actually a vampire, and we did an episode on how you kill those a while back.

J: For those of you that weren’t here for that episode, we’ll cover the basics of how you kill a vampire: burn them at extremely high temperatures, has to be at least cremation-level heat, then once you’ve burned the body, you have to collect the bones, grind those to dust, then burn the dust.

M: And the reason for this is because vampires are obnoxiously difficult to kill.

J: Several vampiric experts have attested that a vampire can reconstitute from a fragment as small as a nailclipping, so long as sufficient blood is provided for them to regenerate. Dismembering them and taking them apart will incapacitate them, but it won’t kill them.

M: And we hate to break it to you, but wooden stakes aren’t a good substitute.

J: Neither is UV radiation.

M: They don’t burn up in sunlight.

J: Hell, most of them like to hang out on the beach and flaunt their eternal youth.

M: Crosses and other holy artifacts, we are sad to inform you, likewise have no effect on them.

J: You think the gods give a shit about vampires? Reality check, kiddos.

M: Think of vampires like a spider you find in your kitchen or on your bathroom wall: your first response is ‘kill it with fire’.

J: It’s gotta be big fire, though. What were the three quickest ways that we came up with in that episode of how to kill vampires?

M: Uhh, I think it was… shove them into a nuclear reactor, shove them into a fusion core, or shove them into the path of an industrial-grade mining laser? And then for bonus points, if you’ve got a private cruiser or something, you could stick them in an airlock and then eject them into the coronasphere of a star.

J: You’ve probably noticed a pattern here.

M: Yeah, they all involve instant incineration or molecular disassembly.

J: A quick, effective, and mostly painless way to bite the dust. Fun fact: the Dodakatheon, which is basically the vampire government, provides free incineration to vampires that have lived so long that they’re ready to die, but can’t.

M: Man, I wish somebody would subsidize my cremation. Funeral expenses and body disposal nowadays are through the roof! But back on topic: there you have it, your five main ways to kill a vampire!

J: And most of you have probably deduced this, but most of these avenues are not accessible to your common galactic citizen. So vampires can be a little difficult to truly kill.

M: I don’t know what you’re talking about, doesn’t everyone have an industrial-grade mining laser in their backyard?

J: We don’t all have strange hobbies like you do, Mark. There’s your quick refresher for how you kill vampires, and by extension, how you’d kill Songbird. I guess that about wraps it up for this week’s episode!

M: Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast! We haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet! We still gotta speculate on how many teams of black-op elites you’d need to take down Songbird, how to get around his sonic sorcery, do an analysis of the best environments to ambush him in, all that good jazz!

J: Right, right, of course. Well, let’s start running the numbers…

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

CURSE HQ: Arrivals Platform

4:53pm SGT

“Here to watch the new batch of recruits come in?”

I look around. I don’t know how I didn’t notice him arrive, but Ironfist is towering behind the bench that I’m sitting at on the arrivals platform. For someone as big and muscled as he is, you’d think he’d make some noise when he moves. I almost expect the ground to quake a bit whenever he takes a step.

“I’m surprised we’re getting a new batch in so soon.” I say, going back to staring across the wide open arrivals platform. The desks where the recruits get assigned their bunks and their access bracelets are being set up at the other end of the platform, so the transport ship probably isn’t due to get here for a while. “The last batch just came in… what, two months ago?”

“Almost two months to the day, yes.” Ironfist says. “There is a need for fresh blood. Operations have been ramped up considerably with the return of the Challengers, and we can’t afford to get stretched too thin across the galaxy.” He looks down at me. “How is your trainee doing? I’ve heard rumors she is not what she seemed on the surface.”

“Yeah, turns out she’s got magic.” I say, reaching up to scratch my head. “She still wants me to train her, though. Me ’n Whisper.”

“Interesting. You don’t have any arcane ability of your own, do you?” Ironfist says, coming around the bench and sitting down on the other end of it.

“I don’t, no. Just a boring old human. Marshy, to be specific.” I say, leaning my arms on my knees. “I’ve got a little bit psionic sensitivity that I inherited from my mother, since she’s full-blooded Marshy, but it’s not enough for me to do anything with.”

“It doesn’t appear to have stopped you. You’re still a Peacekeeper.” Ironfist points out.

I shrug. “Yeah, I know I’ve earned it, it’s just. I guess, in a galaxy full of unique species that have magic, or psionic abilities, or that can shift forms, or that are eight feet tall and ripped as hell, or that are sentient machines, I just feel… boring.” I say, looking at my hands. “I’m not even a human that can use magic. I’m just. Human. As basic as it can get.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, you do have something I don’t have.” Ironfist says, giving me a knowing look.

I look at him. “Really? What’s that?”

He smiles, running a hand over his bald skull. “Hair.”

I know it’s cheesy, but I can’t help but grin at that, shaking my head. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I say, reaching up to run my fingers through my hair again. “Be thankful for the little things, I guess.”

“Grass is always greener on the other side.” he says, leaning back against the bench. “We get so caught up in wanting what others have that we don’t realize that others want what we take for granted. You know, when I was younger, I had hair? Sleek and black, so long that I could braid it.”

“Really? You had hair? No way.” I scoff.

“It’s true.” he says, shrugging. “Of course, once I hit my fifties, my hairline started receding. I didn’t want to end up looking like some monastery friar, so I decided to bite the bullet and just keep my entire dome shaved. I miss my hair, but the shiny dome look has grown on me. A bare skull definitely makes you look tougher.”

“I guess it does, doesn’t it.” I muse, thinking about that. “That makes sense. A lot of bad guys in holos do rock the bald look.”

“So they do.” Ironfist agrees, his attention wandering across the arrivals platforms to the doors linking it to the rest of the station. “It appears the Administrator would like to be present to greet this next batch of recruits as well.”

I follow his gaze to see Tenji’s signature mane of scarlet hair at the doors. Accompanying her is a tall man in a crimson longcoat, and short red hair; his gaze roves over us, then skips elsewhere as Tenji speaks to him.

“Who’s that with her?” I ask, cocking my head to one side. “He seems familiar, but I can’t quite place it.”

“You’ve never seen SCION in the flesh before?” Ironfist asks, glancing at me.

“Wait, that’s SCION?” I ask, glancing at Ironfist as I sit up a little. “I didn’t know he had a body! I’ve only ever heard him as a voice on a screen, or a tiny hologram that can fit on my dashboard.”

“Yeah, he has a physical frame.” Ironfist confirms. “I think he’s actually got multiple, but he never uses them unless he personally needs to go into the field. If they have SCION out and about in person, things must be getting serious.”

“Looks like it, from the way he’s talking with Tenji.” I say, watching the Administrator. The usual relaxed cast of her face is gone; I can see the way her eyebrows are drawn together, as if she was focused. “I wonder if something happened.”

“Considering SCION makes up half of our entire intelligence department, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was filling her in on some sort of development.” Ironfist says, folding his intensely muscled arms. “Let’s hope that whatever it is, it’s something that’ll help us bring down the resurgency.”

I bite my lip, fighting the urge to say something about the Spark initiative. I glance at him, wondering how he’d react to it. Probably with doubt and disbelief that we were pursuing something so nebulous and uncertain. But after what I’d seen that Jackrabbit was capable of, and how she’d thrashed both me and Kwyn without even trying, I knew there was something to the myth of the Sparks. Even if I didn’t know what that was yet.

So I glance back to Tenji, and feel a chill run through me as she catches me watching her. As if she knew what was running through my mind, and was reminding me of its classified nature.

“Yeah.” I reply to Ironfist. “I hope so too.”