Abusive Relationships - Staying

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Why?

There's a darkness in the moment
There's a shadow in my soul
There's a sadness in my life now
And this sadness takes its toll

There's a grief within my mind now
And a curtain hides my heart
From the prying eyes of everyone
In hope that pain depart

I cannot hold my head up high
I cannot see the sun
I cannot pretend anymore
That I am having fun

There's an anchor on my soul
To ensure I cannot fly
And all that I can do today
Is ask and question, Why?


 

Failure

I cannot see, I cannot stop
I fail at everything I try
Nothing will work out in the end
As I cannot simply get by
Everything I do is wrong
Everything I say, a lie
Nothing left for me to do
Except perhaps curl up and die
I don't know why I am this way
I try real hard, I hope and pray
And I just don't know what to say...


 

I See My Life

I see my life before my eyes
Lying wasted on the floor
Happiness again forgotten
Suffering again once more

I see my life before my eyes
Shattered, broken, nothing left
All my struggles, all for nothing
Life lost here to petty theft

My future's not my own to live
Life has stolen all my dreams
No victim of plain, random chance
Victim of life's evil schemes

I see my life before my eyes
Drifting away, out of view
I'm lost, abandoned, knowing not
Anything that I must do


 

Down the End of the Road

I've lost it all, Eternity,
The one I Loved,
The one I'd be,
There is no future here for me.

Just pages in an empty book
Regrets, chances I never took
Sights I'd see if I'd just look
All gone from view forevermore

Nothing left of me, it seems
But broken ribbons, shattered dreams
Stories untold in giant reams
Whilst I can scarcely live.

This world of ours has gone to Hell
And I have learned its lessons well
And thus, all's left to do is yell
Because I can't do good

I have forgotten what is right
And all that's left, this giant fight
There seems to be no end in sight
So what is there to do?

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Think well of others, now I must
Shiny and bright has turned to rust
And now's my time to join

I can't undo my past, no way
And I can't see the Light today
Or, truth be told, any other day...

Farewell, be strong, Farewell


 

Never Good Enough

"Never good enough," my epitaph will read,
Echoing the words, unspoken - words that I must heed.

"Never good enough," they think behind my back,
Their thoughts seen through their actions here, seeing what I lack.

"Never good enough," I know, I've tried my best
Yet trying is not good enough to catch up with the rest.

"Never good enough," it's drilled into my mind
The caption here on all I do, with no hope I can find

"Never good enough," I've never seen beyond
These hurtful words inside my head,
A tearful, salty pond of dread,
My epitaph when I am dead,
Just "Never good enough!"


 

Innocence Lost

Innocence lost to despair all around
Looking for Hope but there's none to be found
Nowhere to go, all things to dread
Nothing's improving, I wish I were dead
Prayers all day long but with nothing to show
No way to fix things and nowhere to go
No one to turn to for help, any time
Won't someone tell me my horrendous crime?
Begging and pleading yield no different song
God, I am trying, what did I do wrong?
Life is a nightmare of battles and hate
It won't get better, I'm stuck with my fate
Promises later, too little too late
Kind words don't last long
Before they are gone
Just anger and hatred and meanness remain
I can't last much longer, I'm going insane
Doing my best is just never enough
No time to rest, the going's always tough
And I just can't make it, my life's at an end
A dead end, despairing, no hope at the bend
A life full of anger and loneliness, too
But what else is new? What else can I do?


 

Soft Despair

Soft Despair falls like a snowy blanket, cold and dark and damp
Hiding all the hope beneath a wintry scene of peaceful bliss
Stealing from the world the chance of hope and help and light and truth
Hiding all the dangers of the world beneath a scene of peacefulness

Lying, cheating and despairing, Hope is hidden now from view
Hidden in the tricky shadows, contours of the icy land
Bloody corners, sharp and hungry, hiding under friendly guise
Soft Despair in happy disguise helpfully holds out her hand

Despair claims to want your friendship, do not trust her, she's a lie
Do not trust the smooth white contours lying underneath the snow
Do not trust the outstretched hand, the helpful smile, friendly stance
Do not trust the cheerful aspect, murder awaits down below

Soft Despair falls like a snowy blanket, cold and dark and damp
Tricking those who trust the peaceful scene into the loss of Hope
Silently she smothers those who trust in her and trust her lies
Taking then their will to live and taken then their chance to cope

Do not trust Despair's soft lies, her promises amount to naught
Those held captive in her power lose their Will to Live - and rot


 

Dark Rain

The rain outside reflects my mood
In tear-filled puddles on the ground
Within this void that some call life
I stop and cry without a sound

The angry sky looks down in spite
The sky is dark, the clouds are deep
With plodding step and heavy heart
I find myself longing for sleep

But all things end, as end they must
The sun comes out and stops the rain
Again she smiles, nature once more
Leaves me alone within my pain


 

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