So, this section is essentially me reviewing the writing process/experience from Act I. There will be some discussion around what I was trying to achieve and how I went about doing said things. Then some commentary on what I'd like to do next (without spoilers of course).
Phew,
Upwards of 150 000 words and 36 story chapters later (about 10 hours’ worth of reading, yoh!) and we are done with Act 1!
Whoo! Wiggly arms dance
I had a helluva time even though I went through like 50 emotional breakdowns and several bouts of 'This is a MuddaFukking Piece of Shit! Throw it away!' I distinctly feel many parts of ChloeDoesThings video (fanfiction/fanfic writer woes)
Which is why I purposefully decided to start a fan fiction AND post it on AO3 as I went - because I know, I know ... that when I go into MOFO mode I will delete the story - empty out recycle bin - all of it! I have done it countless times before, nuked my story into oblivion, bye-bye, gone, like it never even existed.
This time I said to myself: "I have readers I can't delete it, and I have to learn to finish a story else I'm never going to learn what I need to learn."
So, I pulled on my big girl pants and went, "Let's do this!"
I also realized that I'm more insane than I initially thought too - stepping into the different character perspectives was a bit strange at first, but after a while I was enjoying myself almost as much as Astarion when carving up the bad guys - it's a bit disturbing really... or is it? However, I have no regrets beating up baddies and scumbags - which is becoming a favourite past time as a writer for me. Yeah, I'm looking at you Cazador...
On that note, this leads to the general theme of the fanfiction: Dark Fantasy. In the sense of exploring the darker aspects of humanity and the human psyche, but not in a horrific or 'just-for-shock-factor-way'. Also, not like Durge - I for one, cannot relate to the Durge character at all, but I do think the idea was underexplored in the game. But it is also a game, and there is limited time and budget with any project so, meh.
Anyways. Uh, where were we? Oh yes, dark fantasy...
I'm writing Dark Fantasy and not Romance. But since this is fanfiction, a very big part is going to be Romance. Personally, I prefer some romance, I think it reveals a lot about the characters, but I don't consider myself to be a Romance writer - yet I want to do it well and the fan fic is a place to explore this (not to mention a certain Pale Elf).
I didn't go with the usual Romance tropes or 'themes' that are prevalent in the genre - to be honest: they seem weird to me; likely because I don't read romance myself. During my research I also experienced the romance tropes to be too concerned with labels that force the characters into one-dimensional cardboard cutouts instead of using romance to illustrate/celebrate the complex, often contradictory depth of characters and the struggling humanity of people. Thus, I opted to write about such people instead, and not labels.
Therefore, the Nyx and Astarion pairing was the main cause of most of my emotional breakdowns as I tried to write how Astarion would have gone through something like this and how Nyx would navigate it given her history. Also how the relationship affects them both, in a good and not-so-good way, but trying to move it into something that leads to growth (within reason and context). This is going to become more prevalent, and I'll expand on the topic as we move through Act 2.
Act 1 Review
So, getting here was a bit of a journey. I never intended on writing a BG3 fanfiction; I have my own characters and stories swimming around in my head for like the last ten years. Always hoping that at some point I'd be ready to tackle those, but even now the idea of going at it alone from scratch seem daunting. However, there is still much to do with this fanfic, so I'll focus on that.
After finishing my first playthrough I was browsing AO3 for a BG3 fanfic. I wanted fanfics similar to the true-to-characters fanfics I have found on AO3 previously (I think I need to make an effort of finding these again and sticking them in the bookmarks section). So, these were for Mass Effect, Dragon Age Origins, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age Inquisition and Greedfall 2. (Dammit there are still ones I'm looking for back when I was reading as a guest... grr)
But, I struggled to find something representative on AO3 of the original characters (or I suppose *my* experience/interpretation of the characters). I remember multiple instances of being like, Um... Who are these people? They are nothing like the characters from the game...
Then I also wanted that feel of the D&D storytelling and campaigns, so I attempted to find a D&D group to do online tabletop games with - however, I am both at a time zone and geographical disadvantage when it comes to this... But I had created a few characters using the D&D character creation guidelines and I was in the process of reading up on how the D&D lore and tabletop mechanics work when I created Nyx (or rather the precursor to Nyx). Then I realized I was onto a character whose story should not be confined to a D&D tabletop setting - I expanded on the concepts and ended up with a character that could do with her very own story. And the idea of incorporating her into a BG3 fanfic occurred to me: Now I have both the D&D storytelling feel as well as the opportunity to learn how to write stories - with 'training wheels' so to speak.
I added a few additional themes to the precursor character, such as:
- She would be like an additional companion (not a Tav, since Tav's story is technically told through the BG3 game)
- She would not take the leadership role (I wanted to write from the perspective of a team member, not the leader)
- She would have a difficult past with several overlapping elements from some of the other companions. Because this allows me to explore those topics using one character.
- She would represent a Dark Thinking type personality. Because we don't get represented enough in books and media.
- This included writing about a 'dark thinking female' as they are (i.e., they are not unfeeling robots and they are not insufferable Mary Sue either)
- But this comes with its own disadvantages as I wasn’t sure how many readers would relate to a Dark Thinker (especially Nyx's version)
I figured out a way of tying her backstory into the BG3 plot similar to the other characters. After that she kind of developed in her own way as the story progressed and my understanding of writing improved, especially after I heavily researched a backstory component. These I did as I went and slowly incorporated that into the storytelling. So that you get to 'learn' about her along with the other companions, and I threw in a few extra titbits for your knowledge only. I have a clear vision for her story arc within BG3, and I've scattered a few foreshadowing titbits of that in Act 1 already.
Other lessons included:
- Being immensely surprised by the Dialogue. I recall my dialogue always being a disaster in the past, but I think that some 'life experience' has helped with that as well as the games and books that I've played/read since.
- Group dialogue was confusing initially, but moving the name of the character that spoke to the front of the sentence helped greatly with that. Also allocating a paragraph to a character by including the stuff they do and say in that same paragraph.
- Battles were a challenge, but after I figured out that I can make 'groups' to fight each other instead of 'individuals' the whole dynamic became easier to write. I still need to wrap my head around non-monster battles though, because now I am dealing with two highly intelligent groups fighting each other using more intricate strategies, actions and reactions...
- Challenging myself to write each 'BG3 game event' differently, even if it is minor in comparison to others. Especially the battles and dialogues. Also, not all game events need to be used, only those that add value: Such that it either forwards the plot or character development (preferably some combo of that. Another bonus would be incorporating dialogue and worldbuilding too).
- Realizing that not all 'conflict' needs to be battle (or injury) driven. The characters are after all in conflict with the environment, events, each other and themselves too.
- There is no need to cling to tightly to detail (general descriptions work well, efficient descriptions even better). Besides, I myself can't keep track of all the little bits-and-bobs that sometimes accompany the descriptions of environments or things like clothing, buildings, cities, monsters etc. Pinterest reference pictures help a lot with inspiration and descriptions.
- English has many words: They are there for a reason and I can use them all, however I want - especially for dialogue. Do not listen to nonsense 'advice' like only using 'said' or only trying to describe character emotions through body language alone or not using adjectives to describe how something was said.
- Being brave and writing about those Dark Topics has done more for my writing, and me as a person, than any other aspect of the fanfiction.
Act 2 Prospects
Firstly, I'm going to take a bit of a break... Until?
Let me put a date here to keep myself accountable: Erm, the first Friday of November, which is the 1st, and Act 2 will be in line with post-Spooky Month too. In the meantime, I want to get all of the characters out of my head for a while, they are blabbing too much - then do some research, sharpen up my knives sharpen up my writing skills. Get a road map of Act II going of sorts, refine my planning process so that the writing is smoother and less 'all-consuming-of-my-life-at-times'. Then add my plans - ooh, ya'll I have plans.
One thing I can say, which I don't think is unexpected: It's going to get Dark(er), in all kinds of ways. Not only because of the BG3 plot, but because it has to happen character-wise. There is a lot of untapped potential in Act 2, which I'm going to make full use of. This includes the environment, monsters, battles, interpersonal conflict, character growth and some things that were reversed in the original game script. So, interesting times... and me foreseeing myself having some more cathartic emotional breakdowns in the process.
But as usual, I'm not going to do shocking, silly, or melodramatic things - this ain't a Telenovela! No one has time for that kinda drama. Neither do I want a Stephen King horror, but we are likely going to venture a little into the realm of creepy-disturbing-morbid because of the curse. However, the focus remains: Real People, Real Problems, Real Stories.
To end this off, I'm going to make a new AO3 (now WA) section for Act 2 (once we get to November) because I have OCD tendencies (I'm sure you've noticed this).
I would like to thank you for sticking it out with me until the end of Act 1 and I appreciate you being so invested in Nyx's story (hmm?, alright, yeah yeah) and Astarion's story - see what I mean with the blabbing? You do blab... You can bet your fine vampire ass you do. You blab so much the rest of us don't even get a word in and I can't hear myself think sometimes... Aw, you moping now? Your moping has no effect on me anymore...).
I'll likely be around in the background if ya'll have anything you'd like to discuss in the comment section or let me know your thoughts so far. Feel free to let me know what you'd like to see more of (or less), otherwise Imma just gonna carry on crazy.
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Until then: TTFN
Tata for now!
Reference pictures for Act I Monsters and Environments on Pinterest
Act I Monsters Pinterest Board
